| customer.care on 14 Oct 2000 11:58:29 -0000 |
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| [Nettime-bold] etoy.QUARTERLY-REPORT: BRAND-ALERT. XMAS2000. SEALAND... |
#this is the etoy.QUARTERLY-REPORT: sent out to reg. friends, #fans and shareholders. if you don't like to get information #from the art giant that changes the way people experience the #net: [email protected] ***etoy.HEADLINES*** 1. TODAY! TV REPORT ABOUT THE etoy.OPERATIONS 2000 ON ARTE: "TRACKS" FRIDAY 13.10./ VPS 19.00 CET. FRENCH AND GERMAN. ******************** 2. QUARTERLY-REPORT 3/2000: TRADE-MARK VICTORY/eToys BATTLES/ BRAND-ABUSE/DR.GRETHER/SEALAND/CAYMAN ISLANDS. ******************** 3. FORWARD LOOKING STATEMENT Q4/2000: the etoy.CORPORATION feels fully prepared for the upcoming holiday season. ******************** 4. UPCOMING etoy.PRESENTATIONS: 28.10: MILANO/ITALY, 29.10: BASEL/CH, 3.11: MENLO PARK/CALIFORNIA, 5.11.: GENEVA/CH, BERLIN XY.11. (not fixed yet) ******************** ******DETAILS******* 1. etoy.TV: for all who missed the show "etoy.CORPORATION - IMPACT MANAGEMENT IN MANHATTAN": "TRACKS" tv documentation on the network "ARTE": this friday, after 7 pm broadcasted all over europe (satellites: TELECOM2B, HOTBIRD5, ASTRA1E, ASTRA1F & cable). REPEAT: DIGITAL ARD/ZDF-Bouquet 14.10. info: www.arte-tv.com *** 2. QUARTERLY-REPORT 3/2000 (excerpt): 2.a) etoy.TRADE-MARK: a victory message from the TRADEMARK OFFICE IN ARLINGTON/USA! 1:3 for etoy. after a registration process of more than 3 years the mark no. 75/313707 "etoy" (stylised) registered for "twisted cultural business operations and experimental entertainment" got the final OK for publication! http://tarr.uspto.gov/servlet/tarr?regser=serial&entry=75%2F313707 enemies and competitors have 30 days to oppose. the TOYWAR.site is reactivated! (NO! the etoy.CORPORATION is not particularly interested in repeating the famous 1999 net- entertainment-hit "TOYWAR - most expensive performance in art history") it was not planned to launch a ranting trilogy. but! the art giant is READY TO PROTECT its property to the "MAXIMUM EXTENT UNDER LAW" if it is necessary. over and over again. (B.O.M) ...toby, you know what this means... right? creative engineers had plenty of time to work on protection- weapons... thousand of soldiers and journalists are watching your steps. your shares are not doing too well... we better surprise the kids with peace and harmony this x-mas... we both burned enough cash and had plenty of fun last time. btw: if you need a hand to save your business - we just heard that you had to leave your offices - give our lawyers a ring. we don't blame you for your sins of the past. we all do stupid things...(E.O.M.) 2.b) SIDE-EFFECTS OF A STRONG BRAND: as the etoy.EMPIRE grows it faces more and more trademark delusion, unauthorized products in china and embarrassing brand abuse in austria. 2.b.1) last month local authorities confiscated 1400 faulty copies of the 1996 net-hit soundtrack "digital hijack" on flexi disks in hong kong. etoy.CEO ZAI explained that the records were about to be shipped to north america where more and more etoy.FANS are willing to pay up to 50 USD for a copy of the legendary piece of plastic. etoy recognized the lack of information and started a campaign telling people that they get the hijack sound disc for free by ordering a SPEX-ANNIVERSARY-SHARE-PACKAGE for only 20 USD. this package includes 10 etoy.SHARES, voting power, stickers and the etoy.SOUND-CD "TOYWAR.lullabies" (free tracks from EBA, negativland, people like us a.m.o). http://www.etoy.com/SPEX . PRESIDENT etoy.GRAMAZIO: "the confiscated discs were distributed among computer game addicted kids in china." 2.b.2) more pitiful is the latest case in austria. industry insiders reported: the spam-mail-agency that "purchased" an american election site (after it was shut down by its founder) now plays an unsmart game. it promotes so called "shock- and guerrilla-marketing": the company tries to sell "art-editions" of cheap cars, promotes cloths and works for companies like microsoft germany. is this a problem for etoy? no. we did not think so. but fans informed us that the self-appointed pr- masterminds signed with the official etoy.EMAIL-ADDRESS to make their spam looking cool. what a brilliant masterpiece! a closer look to the website showed us that the agency calls etoy a "client and official partner" with the same "philosophy". etoy.FANS and SHAREHOLDERS - confused and disappointed that etoy is wasting its strong brand for low- key business operations - complained. we don't like to get involved in a mudslinging. trademark problems are to be found under "risk factors" in our b.p. but as a shareholder company etoy is required to inform investors. here is the official etoy.STATEMENT: "the etoy.CORPORATION does neither work with those people nor does it support this kind of business-plans and urge everybody to risk their own asses for this sort of narrow minded crap. the etoy.MANAGEMENT is always open for a twisted deal. but shock-marketing will fail: no cultural profit - no long term revenues - no brain. etoy.LAWYERS feel so bad about hunting down clowns who run spam mail companies and mimic very successful art brands. thank you very much for your cooperation!" 2.b.3) DR. GRETHER: on the net -as we see- its hard to separate real partners from swindlers. and sometimes the wrong guys pay while the liars make profit: after rumours appeared in certain newsgroups the etoy.MANAGEMENT likes to clarify the connection between etoy and dr. reinhold grether aka general nasdaq. dr. grether served as the hardest working and best informed analyst of toywar. today he is a valuable member of the etoy.ADVISORY-BOARD. unfortunately his personal and professional "enthusiasm" for the countless side effects of TOYWAR lead to misinterpretation by members of the community who had the impression that "oncle grether" jumped on the running train. etoy hereby declares that it fully covers dr. grether, wants to thank him officially for his efforts and hopes that we can continue the mind blowing friendship. dr. grether is an outsider, a controversial but very special person. etoy decided to cooperate with him during toywar because he was able and willing to learn, participate, observe and reflect the ongoing processes - 16 hours a day. he read 3 books a day for the last 30 years. thats why you did not know him! he is not part of the theory-mafia and did not waste his time with "art world politics"...he came from nowhere. we like that. we know many "stars" who don't even know how to login. most of them never answered if we tried to make contact ...if we met them in person they recommended to take the money and run because they thought that toywar would fail. dr. grether was one of the few who recognized the meaning and full potential of this performance - long before the masses and the press came on board. his work as a scientist involved extensive research of the NASDAQ market and DER-NEUE-MARKT. the two tracks crossed at the right moment in history and run in parallel for some months before each party returned to its projects. we hope that open minded people will soon recognize that the grethers carry movements like toywar not the pseudo cool ones who always jump on running trains. anyway. even if he is exhausting some times - we like dr. grether and support his unorthodox research projects: www.netzwissenschaft.de 2.c) CORPORATE OPERATIONS Q 3/2000: etoy successfully launched its OFF-SHORE NET-SHELTER and electronic etoy.HQ- PROJECT located on SEALAND -a former world war II anti- aircraft military fortress in the north sea. the first data transfer is expected for Q 1/2001. BUSINESS REUTERS' Alice Ratcliffe reported "etoy plans a restructuring and has filed registration of a tax-exempt company in the cayman islands as it prepares to mark the first anniversary of the toywar". as announced in a press conference with TNC network the etoy.CORPORATION established the etoy.HOLDING on the cayman islands to launder dirty art money and to reinvest worldwide. day to day business now runs through the etoy.VENTURE association - a non profit organization in zurich/ switzerland. etoy.SHAREHOLDERS will invest through the etoy.VC /venture capital association which was incorporated earlier this month. the new company structure was established to guarantee 100% legal protection for institutions and business people. investors are no longer personally connected to the high risk units and therefore not liable for etoy actions. 2.c.1) AWARDS: TOYWAR.com won a "honorary mention" at the ars electronica festival 2000. 2.d) etoy.REVENUES: etoy does not promise financial revenues. etoy.SHARES represent cultural value. 2.e) etoy.EXPENSES: during Q 3/2000 etoy burned about 50k of venture capital to cover its operations on- and offline. comparing to Q 3/1999 the cash-burn-rate is considered "under control". 2.f) etoy.LOSSES: losses are part of our business (compare section 2.d). losses do not matter as long as operations can be covered and as long as the shareholder-satisfaction is guaranteed. the etoy.MANAGEMENT is fully aware of the financial situation and guarantees payment of all legitimate bills. *** 3. FORWARD LOOKING STATEMENT Q 4/2000: 3.a) GENERAL: the etoy.MANAGEMENT expects that further venture capitalists, leading art collections (like the robert shiffler foundation/dayton/ohio in the 3rd quarter 2000), institutional investors and many etoy.FANS continue to invest in the sophisticated corporate structure that generates and increases cultural value by inspiring business, entertainment and the art world. 3.b) Q 4/2000 PROJECTS: CONFIDENTIAL. 3.c) Q 4/2000 INFRASTRUCTURE/etoy.AGENTS: the etoy.SHARE- TRANSFER-SECTION (including all databases) is about to be reorganized. therefore the etoy.MANAGMENT cooperates with highly productive etoy.AGENTS in europe and the us. the etoy.TRANSFER project will be attended by alex fischl (newtron), lou wang, miss monorom.to, manuel gemperli, olivier bron, andrea mayr, alain stamberger, and simon scheiber. we are proud that the project won their sympathy. in the near future (Q 1/2001) investors will be able to buy the following etoy.SHARE-PACKAGES: -"BETA" (incl. voting rights, TOYWAR.cd, stickers) -"FAN" (incl. v.r., tshirt, stickers, etc.) -"AGENT" (incl. v.r., shareholder-card, etoy.EMAIL) -"PROTECTION" (incl. free gadgets: from bulletproof vest up to planed etoy.DATA-SHELTER located on the world's smallest sovereign territory, the principality of SEALAND). -"V.C." (incl. v.r., etoy.FLIGHT-CASE, etoy.SUIT, sunglasses, etoy.CARD etc) -"ART-COLLECTOR": (incl. v.r., etoy.SHARE-CERTIFICATE) -"ANGEL" (chair etoy.BOARD) -"TAKE-OVER" (51% of the etoy.CORPORATION) 3.d) INVESTMENT: minimal investment rates for the next quarter: etoy.MICRO-INVESTMENT-CARDS: $100, etoy.SHARE- CERTIFICATES: $3000 (both certify ownership within the strictly limited pool of shares). special offer: etoy.SPEX- ANNIVERSARY-PACKAGE for $ 20. *** 4. etoy.PRESENTATIONS OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2000: after presentations in linz, amsterdam and stockholm in september the etoy.CORPORATION decided to present the etoy.BUSINESS-PLAN in the following cities: 28.10.: "Creativo!" festival in MILANO/ ITALY with negativland, evolution control committee, emergency broadcast network (EBN) and others. 29.10.: "critics choice" du-matinee/ www.viper.ch BASEL. 3.11.: Stanford Research Institute: "art frontiers: partners in art and industry" MENLO PARK/ CALIFORNIA http://www.thekitchen.org/artfrontiers.htm" 5.11.: Centre pour l'image contemporaine/ GENEVA http://www.centreimage.ch/ BERLIN IS ON THE LIST FOR NOV.2000 *** ACTUAL RATES/ etoy.SHARE-PRIZE: $3.22 PER UNIT. SIGNED - 13. 10. 2000 - www.etoy.com the etoy.MANAGEMENT: CEO: etoy.ZAI PRESIDENT: etoy.GRAMAZIO LEGAL AFFAIRS: etoy.KUBLI