<nettime> arch-conservative candidate moshes, NY exchange shuts down

[t byfield <tbyfield@panix.com>]

<http://www.michaelmoore.com/>

Alan Keyes in touch with the people? Check out our Iowa moshpit! 
                                      
The press covers our mosh pit:
                                      
Gail Collins of the NY Times
<http://www.nytimes.com/library/opinion/collins/012800coll.html>
                                      
Jay Leno's monologue
<http://www.tveyes.com/database/expand.asp?ln=743983&key=mosh%20pit>
                                      
Crossfire
<http://www.TVEyes.com/database/expand.asp?ln=743698&key=mosh%20pit>
                                      
   01.28.00
   Today in:
   1987: George Bush speaking on television proclaims: "On the surface,
   selling arms to a country that sponsors terrorism, of course, clearly,
   you'd have to argue it's wrong, but it's the exception sometimes that
   proves the rule."
   
                                      
   01.28.00
   
   Dear friends,
   
   Yes, that mosh pit - the one that has thrown a big, weird monkey
   wrench into the first week of the 2000 Presidential campaign - was
   ours.
   
   And the marching band outside the execution of Billy Hughes in Texas
   on Monday night, complete with cheerleaders chanting, "George [Bush],
   George, he's our man! If he can't kill 'em, no one can!" - that was
   ours, too.
   
   And, yes, that was us with Rage Against the Machine on Wednesday as we
   forced the New York Stock Exchange to hit the panic button and slam
   down the steel gates over their doors, sealing off the entire building
   an hour before closing time, and resulting in my near-arrest by the
   men who wear the Giuliani blue.
   
   All this, and we are only four days into shooting our next season of
   "The Awful Truth." If this is what a typical week is going to be like
   for us this time around, then I guess the line item in our budget for
   "lawyers and bail money" is grossly underestimated.

-> <http://www.michaelmoore.com/01282000.html>

   We usually don't like to discuss what we're up to before we air our
   work on Bravo and Channel 4 U.K., but the Iowa Mosh Pit has become
   such a huge item in the news that I thought you might want to know
   just what the heck is going on.
   
   It was bizarre watching the Republican Presidential debate Wednesday
   night, with Bush and Bauer and Keyes all going nuts over what we did
   Sunday night at the Iowa Caucuses. New York Times columnist Gail
   Collins called it "the defining moment" of the campaign so far (click
   here to read her column in the Times). Jay Leno devoted a chunk of his
   monologue to it Thursday night. BBC Radio woke me up this morning
   wanting an explanation.
   
   Here's what happened:
   
   As part of what will be our ongoing "coverage" of this year's
   Presidential election, we decided to go to Iowa to see how far these
   candidates will go to get an endorsement. We know they will take money
   from just about anyone and promise favors and legislation to the
   highest bidders. With that as our system of "democracy," it leaves us,
   the people, with few avenues to have our voice heard.
   
   So, we announced to all the contenders for the White House that "The
   Awful Truth" will endorse any candidate who jumps into our mosh pit.
   Simple as that. No large sums of dirty money, no favors or back-room
   deal making. Just dive into the outstretched arms of 100 degenerate -
   but registered - youth, and you are our candidate.
   
   I hauled this mosh pit around Iowa in a large flatbed truck,
   crisscrossing the state and inviting the Presidential candidates to
   join the teeming and tattooed masses. The response from the candidates
   varied from a stunned and frightened Steve Forbes (who quickly walked
   by the pit giving it a nervous thumb up), to front-runner George W.
   Bush (who told me, "behave yourself, Michael - I see you're up to your
   old tricks - why don't you go get a real job?")
   
   Gary Bauer, on the other hand, called the Des Moines police - who sent
   five cruisers and a paddy wagon to arrest the pit. The police, though,
   could not contain their laughter when they arrived and saw the group
   of purple-haired, pierce-lipped, 18-year olds jumping wildly in place
   to the music of Rage Against the Machine.
   
   Next, we drove over to a town hall event being staged by former Reagan
   ambassador, Alan Keyes. As the mosh pit rolled into the parking lot,
   with Rage music blaring ("It has to start somewhere/ It has to start
   sometime/ What better place than here/ What better time than now..."),
   Keyes staffers came outside to see what all the noise was about. When
   informed that Keyes could get the endorsement of "The Awful Truth,"
   Keyes' national field director dove into the pit, hoping that would
   suffice for our support. He then brought out "Uncle Sam," a Keyes
   supporter who was dressed in full Uncle Sam regalia. He, too, jumped
   in.
   
   But we told the Keyes staff that it had to be Keyes himself. Minutes
   later, Alan Keyes emerged and, against the loud protests of his Secret
   Service agent, Keyes climbed to the top of the makeshift stage on the
   back of the truck and dove backwards into the screaming mosh pit. He
   then body-surfed the entire pit, carried like a wave on the
   outstretched hands of the tightly compact crowd. He did a couple of
   body slams with a spiked-hair youth from Ames High School and left the
   pit with the official endorsement of the show.
   
   "We knew Alan Keyes was insane," I told the press who were trying to
   understand the irony or the point. "We just didn't know HOW insane he
   was until that moment. We now feel a responsibility to test the
   remaining field of candidates."
   
   On Wednesday night, the five remaining Republican candidates held
   their big New Hampshire debate. And what did they spend their time
   fighting about? "The Awful Truth Mosh Pit!" The Reuters news agency
   called it "surreal," and Gary Bauer went into nutty overdrive accusing
   Keyes of being "anti-family" because he was moshing to the music of
   "The Machine Rages On" (!), calling the group "pro-terrorist" and
   saying that's what the "kids at Columbine" listened to.
   
   For the past three days, our phone has been ringing off the hook.
   Hundreds of papers around the country have covered the story. The
   pundits on all the blowhard cable shows can't shut up about it. And
   for some reason, for at least the better part of one week, we have
   been able to get the Republicans to stop talking about who will be
   best at taking away women's rights or building more prisons and forced
   them to occupy their time arguing about the moral merits of the Mosh
   Pit.
   
   As we head into the weekend, we are loading up the flatbed truck and
   driving off to New Hampshire with our portable mosh pit. We will
   personally attempt to greet John McCain - if he was tough enough for
   the Hanoi Hilton, this will be like Motel 6; Al Gore - the mosh pit is
   perhaps the only place where being stiff is an asset; and Bill Bradley
   - we are convinced this will be his only chance to stage a comeback
   (plus, he's the only candidate big enough to kick every one of these
   kids' butts).
   
   Keyes had been written off in Iowa before he jumped into our pit. The
   day after moshing, he scored an upset third-place finish in the double
   digits amon g those who actually cared about caucusing (90 percent of
   all Iowans knew better and chose not to vote). These other candidates
   would be crazy if they DIDN'T jump into the pit!
   
   "The Awful Truth" is willing to multiple-endorse, just like the big
   money people do when they write big checks to both the Democrats and
   Republicans. To be known as the only group to have endorsed Alan Keyes
   is something we may just never be able to live with, and we are hoping
   to rectify that in New Hampshire.
   
   This past Monday night, we attended the execution of death row inmate,
   Billy Hughes, in Huntsville, Texas. George W. Bush is now responsible
   for approving and carrying out the killing of 117 people, a record. We
   decided to show up and celebrate his achievement. We brought a
   marching band, cheerleaders and fans to hold a tailgate party in the
   prison's parking lot. How did the pro-death penalty crowd react? Well,
   they're threatening a lawsuit, so we'll do our best to get it on the
   air in May.
   
   A few weeks ago, I was asked by Rage Against the Machine to direct
   their next music video, something I've never done. Their song is about
   the evils of our economic system and the era of greed in which we
   live. So, like, I had a few ideas...
   
   On Wednesday we quickly set the band up on the steps where George
   Washington was first sworn in as President, on the corner of Wall and
   Broad Streets in lower Manhattan. Quite a large crowd came out of the
   brokerage houses and banks where the business of America is conducted
   on a daily basis.
   
   The police also came out. They ordered the makeshift concert to cease,
   but before we had a chance to stop, four officers jumped me and put me
   in one of those police locks like you see on that excellent and
   informative show, "COPS." One tried to break my arm, the other put a
   choke hold on my neck. In all my years of shooting in New York, I have
   never had this happen, and all I could think of was, well, I just hope
   it's a new plunger.
   
   When the band and the crowd saw this, they went nuts. Hundreds of them
   jumped two police barricades and tore across the street to the front
   door of the New York Stock Exchange, ground zero of American
   Capitalism. It was a sight to behold. The police were so distracted
   with carting me away they couldn't catch up to the band - who, by this
   time, had made it inside the first set of double doors to the
   Exchange.
   
   At that moment, someone must have hit the riot button inside the Stock
   Exchange because suddenly these large steel gates came crashing down
   in front of the second set of double doors. Then all the gates of the
   Exchange came down. Clank! Clank! Clank! For the first time anyone
   could recall, the New York Stock Exchange went into lockdown - a full
   hour before its official closing time. The police left me and rushed
   over to break up the madness. But the band and their fans are faster
   than I was and escaped the clutches of the police.
   
   You can catch the video on MTV in mid-February and me in court by late
   March.
   
   Well, that's my first week back at work. If you'd like to see footage
   of Alan Keyes in our mosh pit - or me body slamming Senator Orin Hatch
   - click here. Or check out the Rage scene on Wall Street.
   
   I'll be back reporting live and moshing from New Hampshire on
   "Politically Incorrect", Tuesday night, February 1, on ABC.
   
   Until then...
   
   Michael Moore
   
   MMflint@aol.com

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